Digital dating has brought beautiful relationships, but also well-laid traps. In this context, chatfishing emerges, a variation of catfishing focused on conversations: fake profiles that lure you in via chat to manipulate or scam you. If you use Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, or OkCupid, you should be careful. Detect the signs in time Avoid emotional drama, loss of money and exposure of your privacy.
Although many people believe "this doesn't happen to me," the truth is that anyone can fall for it if the person on the receiving end knows how to hit the right buttons. Scammers create believable identities, tell emotional stories, and exploit the urgency. And they're not always after money: they're also seeking blackmail, personal information, or even ideological gain. With the right clues and some simple checks, you can move around the dating apps with ease.
What is catfishing and what role does chatfishing play?
Catfishing is impersonating or inventing an identity on the Internet to seduce, manipulate and, often, obtain emotional or economic benefitsChatfishing is its chat-centric version: the scammer lures you into intense conversations (no video or hangouts) to control the pace and avoid detection.
The term "catfishing" became popular after the documentary Catfish (2010), in which Nev Schulman recounted how he fell in love with a person who didn't exist. The name refers to an old practice: cod was transported with catfish in the same tank to keep the cod moving and arrive "fresh." Similarly, a catfisher "stalks" his victim between online profiles and keeps her on alert with intrigue, excuses and promises.
How it works: from the first contact to the attempted scam
These plots usually follow a very defined script. Recognizing this helps you cut them off as quickly as possible. This is how they operate step by step:
- Creation of the false identity. Profiles are created on apps or social networks with stolen or archive photos, attractive biographies, and vague but credible details.
- First message with a hook. They initiate contact with compliments, shared interests, and open-ended questions to generate connection and curiosity.
- Online-only relationship. Frequent conversations, accelerated intimacy, and constant excuses to avoid seeing each other or video chatting; the goal is gain your trust.
- Emotional manipulation. They introduce dramatic stories (illnesses, sudden debts, urgent trips) to make you empathize and let your guard down.
- The key request. They ask for "temporary" money, gift cards, your bank details or intimate images (which they can then use in sextortion). If you log in once, a second excuse appears.
Warning signs: 14 clear clues to avoid taking the bait
If something doesn't feel right, trust your instinct. These red flags are common in catfishing and chatfishing. The more you see, the more caution:
- Minimal or non-existent digital presence. It doesn't appear in a quick search, or it only has activity in the app where it's writing to you.
- Avoid video calls. The camera "doesn't work," there's a "bad connection," or something unexpected happens every time you try.
- Newly created profile. New accounts, with few posts, few photos, and almost no friends or real interactions.
- Professional images only. "Perfect" catalog-style photos, without everyday selfies or consistent backgrounds; they reuse the same images when you ask for more.
- Avoid meeting in person. Accept and cancel again and again; He only wants a relationship via chat..
- Contradictory data. Changes in storytelling about work, family, city, or age; stories that don't fit when asked questions.
- Request money. Medical emergencies, plane tickets “just to see you,” sudden debt… and then another excuse.
- Love bombing. Intense messages from the first day: "soul mate", "with you I see everything", with a unreal emotional speed.
- Stolen or altered photos. Reverse image searches reveal that images belong to another person or to image banks.
- Very few followers or friends. A social network without a network; hardly any authentic interactions.
- Poor language or grammar for their supposed nationality. Clear inconsistencies between how he says he speaks and how he writes.
- Asks for very sensitive information. Bank details, addresses, intimate photos, or answers to disguised "security questions."
- Life too perfect or too busy. Idealized profile, continuous travel, dream profession, but without evidence.
- Something squeaks and you don't know what. That feeling is a warning: if it doesn't fit, it's better to cut it.
How to know if you are a victim of identity theft (catfishing): 7 possible signs
1. They don't have many friends or followers
An almost empty social circle, with no real comments or photos with credible people, usually indicates profile fitted or newly manufactured.
2. They never want to participate in calls/video calls
The recurring refusal to show one's face in real time is a classic: those who are genuine usually accept a brief video verification.
3. Their profile pictures remain the same
Repeating the same two or three photos, without variety or context, reveals that they have no authentic material; it asks for a spontaneous image with a simple test (for example, with a specific object).
4. They avoid meeting
Undated promises of veracity or chain cancellations indicate they don't want scrutiny; keeping you only in chat gives them the total control.
5. Their stories don't match up
Inconsistencies when talking about work, city, schedules or family point to an identity built on patches and excuses.
6. They ask you for money
When the economic component appears, the risk is already high: do not send money to strangers, not even “borrowed”.
7. They make excessive gestures
Grandiloquent love messages, unrealistic promises or express future plans serve to accelerate your emotional involvement.
What are the motivations behind identity theft?
Those who practice catfishing/chatfishing may be motivated by a variety of reasons, some psychological and others criminal. Among the most frequent:
- Low self-esteem. Inventing a “more attractive” self to receive attention and validate the ego.
- Personality disorders or traits. Depression, anxiety, or narcissism that push us to create an idealized version.
- Revenge or harassment. Using fictitious profiles to attack ex-partners, colleagues, or acquaintances.
- Hide identity. Anonymity for malicious purposes or to prepare cybercrime.
- Sexual exploration. From harmless practices to predatory behaviors (e.g., pretending to be a minor).
- Economic benefit. Asking for money, stealing financial data, or forcing sextortion to blackmail.
Kittenfishing: the "soft" version of deception
Kittenfishing doesn't impersonate people, but it does exaggerate their merits, hide their age, or over-retouch their photos to make themselves more desirable. That is, half-truthsIt doesn't usually involve a crime, but it does involve frustration and distrust when meeting in person.
To minimize this, look for consistency: request a short video call, compare hobbies with specific questions, and see if they avoid certain topics. If the profile is "too perfect," consider whether you're dealing with a person who's "too perfect." aggressive personal marketing more than honesty.
Why it is urgent to identify catfishing/chatfishing
Emotional manipulation
Overextended intimacy can leave psychological scars: anxiety, shame, and loss of confidence in future relationships. Cutting things off early protects your emotional well.
Financial scams
Demands for money for emergencies or travel are common. Recent law enforcement reports point to millions of dollars in losses each year in romance scams. Your golden rule: never send money whom you have not verified.
Privacy and identity theft
Sharing addresses, documents, or intimate photos opens the door to blackmail, doxing, and impersonation. Strengthen your privacy settings and limit what sensitive information samples on public profiles.
Practical strategies to detect deception
- Reverse image search. Use Google Images or TinEye to check if the photos appear on other image banks or profiles.
- Video verification. Offer a five-minute call within the app; genuine people usually accept without hesitation.
- Open and specific questions. Details about your neighborhood, routine, or hobbies reveal coherence… or gaps.
- Observe messaging patterns. Bots and scammers respond with scripts, at odd hours, and with glaring errors.
- Trust your intuition. If something gives you a bad feeling, act accordingly: slow down or cut off contact.
Use app features to your advantage
- Verified profiles. Prioritize photo or document verification badges when available.
- Report and block. Report suspicious profiles from the app itself so moderators can take action.
- Privacy adjusted. Hide distance, limit visibility, and review what personal data you display.
Current challenges in identifying fake profiles
Scammers have become more sophisticated: AI-generated images, polished conversation scripts, and knowledge of the verification routinesThis requires combining several tests, not just one.
Furthermore, emotional investment makes it difficult to see warning signs. If you feel like you're getting "hooked" too quickly, take breaks and ask for second opinions to friends; also consider reports on WhatsApp account hijacking as an example of risk.
Finally, verification takes time and many users put it off. Normalize doing simple checks (reverse image, 2-minute video) as part of your digital hygiene.
Real cases that help recognize patterns
- Nev Schulman. The story that led to the documentary Catfish showed a network of fictitious profiles managed by the same person.
- Manti Te'o. The college player thought he had a girlfriend until it was revealed that "Lennay Kekua" never existed; the story included false tragedies.
- Carly Ryan. In one of the first high-profile cases, a pedophile posed as a teenager, with tragic consequences.
- Thomas Gibson. A profile with stolen photos led to sextortion against the actor after the exchange of intimate images.
- Alicia Kozakiewicz. At 13 she was kidnapped by someone pretending to be her age; today she promotes initiatives prevention.
- The military impostor. John Edward Taylor posed as a Navy SEAL or CIA agent to defraud multiple women; he was convicted of fraud and impersonation.
- Ideological capture. Cases like that of Mohamad Jamal Khweis show how fictitious identities have served to attract people towards extremist groups.
If you've already been a victim of chatfishing: quick and effective steps
- Keep evidence. Screenshots of conversations, profiles, and payment receipts.
- Break off contact. Block and report in the app and, if applicable, on the social network.
- Egosurfing. Search for your name and images, also in Facebook, to detect misuse and request removal of content.
- Right to be forgotten. Request that search engines and websites delete your personal data in accordance with applicable regulations.
- Complaint. Go to the relevant authorities if there is fraud, blackmail, or identity theft.
- Strengthen your security. Activate two-factor authentication, change passwords, and use solutions that block phishing and malware.
When to ask for help with chatfishing and who to ask for help?
Sharing doubts with trusted people reduces emotional bias. Consult forums like dating communities or specialized subreddits to fine-tune your thoughts. verification methods.
If you are in Spain, you can contact INCIBE's Cybersecurity Helpline (017, WhatsApp 900 116 117, Telegram @INCIBE017) for free and confidential guidance. Pedagogy and support when they are most needed.
If the emotional impact is significant, consider talking to a professional. A therapist can help you process the betrayal and guilt that sometimes emerge after these experiences.
Benefits of mastering catfishing detection
- More security when flirting online. Less exposure to fraud and harmful relationships.
- Trust in authentic connections. Better filtering improves the quality of your appointments.
- Better digital literacy. What you have learned is also useful for other platforms and online situations.
Move forward with vigilance: habits that make a difference
Review your old chats to spot patterns you previously overlooked: grandiloquent praise, a rush to get intimate, or excuses not to. verify identity.
Value safe connections: an honest video chat, a relaxed date, a coherent bio. Recognizing what's right strengthens your selection criteria.
Stay curious and proactive: keep an eye on verification updates in your apps, practice reverse lookups when something seems suspicious, and ask open-ended questions that only a real person can answer with confidence. detail and naturalness.
Catfishing and its variant, chatfishing, thrive where there's haste, idealization, and little verification; pausing, checking the facts, and using app security tools allows you to move without fear. By combining intuition, small tests (reverse image, short video), and privacy settings, you will drastically reduce the risk and you'll foster genuine encounters; thus, online dating returns to what it should be: a safe and stimulating way to meet someone compatible. Share this information and more users will know about Chatfishing..